Here's a chat conversation that actually happened. See if you can find all the places where each person is telling themselves a story about the other person, and then assuming its true, and notice how volatile the conversation can get in such situations:
A: is it some kind of disrespect @B? nice...B: what?A: nothing, I've just asked u a question that u just ignored, so i asked if it some kind of disrespect. i guess soB: and the answer is in the hipchat which you supposed to have open. you are welcome to open it now and read the answerA: it is opened, and was opened all that timeB: well, you are not in the roomB: the name of the room is [something] you know.. like the company ;)
It is much like debugging a situation:"I can see X on my side. But you can't. Let's see what we missed"